The water is still, the air is crisp. Dawn has passed yet the sun is low on the foggy horizon. With a coffee in my hand, I sit on the edge of the wooden dock, toes circling the lake.
My body is surrounded by serenity but as I gaze back at myself, my mind is actively elsewhere.
Instead, I am trapped in the days of past where I would be jumping off of this same dock, splashing around the water with my family, and prepping the boat for an afternoon of tubing and water skiing.
A decade or so ago, this would be a magical family vacation place. A place where responsibility faded and fun ensued. A home away from home, tucked in the northern woods of Michigan.
And while this place still is amazing, things are not the same.
A somber depression comes over me knowing the joyous moments once believed were never-ending are gone. I am getting older. My family is getting older. Even the ski-boat is gasping at its last few breaths.
Grip of the past
Experiencing nostalgia is said to give a greater sense of belonging in the present and uplift mood but when these memories pervade my mind, I struggle to let them go.
During these recollections, a muted depression dulls life as I dwell on the perceived days of past, affecting my present and future. No doubt, my memories are biased to only the happy ones but sometimes I believe nothing will ever be as great as then.
Releasing this grip on my mind is difficult. I can temporarily weaken its hold on my mood in real time but the only true liberation I’ve found is time.
Looking back months later removed from my stay at the cottage allowed me to better process this cheerless mindset and home in on the reason why I was stricken with blues: The greatness of my memories and desire to preserve them is because of the voracity and fullness in which I lived them.
Carpe Diem
A phrase my family likes to proclaim that has become the mantra of our cottage is Carpe Diem, which translates to seize the day. We toss the phrase around so often, it sometimes loses its meaning despite the very real purpose of its declaration.
What it conveys is that things will never be the same—the only constant is change. The calm water that is perfect for water skiing will soon get choppy from the wind. The energy and mobility we all had in our youth will soon be sapped, leaving us old and frail. In the same vein, a rainy day will soon be replaced with luminous sun just as previous wounds and grief will recede.
The phrase forces our family to take advantage of every moment, as it will soon pass and become only memory. This phrase calls on us to live with no regrets and acts a reminder to continue to make new memories by living with vigor, building on the video reel of the past.
My described sadness is not one of regret but because of the longing for the happiness I experienced. My memories are filled with such intense bliss that I wish to bask in them forever. They are so vivid and enthralling precisely because I lived true to my family’s cherished phrase. I seized every opportunity to have as much fun and make as many great memories as possible.
Instead of allowing the past to have determined my mood at the cottage this summer, I should have lived up more to my family’s mantra with excitement and, additionally, thankfulness. I still have the opportunity to enjoy moments with my family, adding even more to the enduring memory bank.
Be a Champion Now
Carpe Diem is a phrase I carry beyond northern Michigan and try to embody throughout my daily life. It drives me to be the best person I can right now, through my work, family & social interactions, and wellness activities. Just like sun on a cloudy day, experience has taught me that what is today may no longer be tomorrow.
When I injured my back in 2010, I was unable to run for years. After a prolonged recovery and with my ability now about 98% restored, I vowed to never take my capabilities or health for granted, knowing my next run could be the last.
I want to seize the day, everyday and live without regrets. I do not want to look back knowing a poor diet led to a future disease or that my body atrophied because I ‘didn’t feel like exercising’. Or that I didn’t spend enough time with my family and no longer can. I want to make more memories future-me envies.
‘Being a champion’ calls upon an individual to live fully in the moment knowing everything being done is to better the current situation, whether through laughter or sweat, with people or without. Living each day as a champion instills a sense that even if today is not sunny, we know the clouds will eventually part and light will shine again.
The past’s grip on my mind during my trip to Michigan taught me a valuable lesson, one that needs constant reminding. This moment you take for granted now may be your last. Live without regret. Build new great memories by living fully in each moment.
Be a Champion. Carpe Diem.
The Healthy Pharmacist 
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